


Queen of Hearts

by LinRiverSongBeifong



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: BUT IT'S NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK - Freeform, I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD, I promise!!, Implied/Referenced Attempted Rape, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Really!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:12:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7394449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinRiverSongBeifong/pseuds/LinRiverSongBeifong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trixie tried to tell herself that she would never be loved, with her makeup a mess and red lipstick covering almost her entire body, but when she woke up in the middle of the night with Katya’s strong arms embracing her so tightly, she couldn’t help but smile and know deep down, that she was finally loved by a blonde Russian that sat behind her in French.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Queen of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RBCQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RBCQ/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Ace of Hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372642) by [RBCQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RBCQ/pseuds/RBCQ). 



> Hello everyone! This is my second Trixya Fic!!! I am officially trash!! As a disclaimer this one shot is inspired by "Ace of Hearts" By the talented Lxxst. They wrote an amazing one-shot in Katya's POV. With permission they let me write Trixie's POV. I made sure to keep the format the same so that both stories look like they are related. However, Lxxst writing is so much better than mine!!! Also if you want to get a feel for this story two good songs would be "Glitter in the Air" by Pink and "This is what makes us Girls" by Lana Del Rey.

Trixie hated always being along. In her life it felt that no matter how hard she tried there was always someone that was leaving. She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t her during nights that it seemed that the tears wouldn’t stop. It ate away at her knowing that as other kids went out with their friends, creating memories, she was home locked away in her room. It was hard to ignore the fact when she would wake up with red blood shot eyes and still wet cheeks. She cared every time she opened her mouth in class only to hear snickering in the back ground. Her mother told her not to listen to the other kids, but it was hard knowing that no matter what she did there was always going to be something off about her. She would beg her mother for a chance at a new start. All she wanted was to get out of Milwaukee so she wouldn’t have to deal with the bone numbing isolation. However, that wasn’t going to happen the moment her mother met her new husband and Trixie’s new step-farther. During those times Trixie did her hardest to stay away from the man when he had one too many drinks.

She came to terms with the fact she would never be loved by anyone but her mother the start of her freshman year. She had done everything at that point to just try and feel something. Her entire high school knew her as some whore, which was true. She would sleep with whoever to just have a moment of comfort. To know that she was of use to someone was what kept her sane, but she knew that wasn’t the right way to do it. Trixie was fearless though, she would never let any of the comments from her peers get to her. She made sure to shut them up with a glare between her false eye lashes and a purse of her pink lips. She knew what they said was true, but that didn’t mean she was going to take it lying down.

She began to use heavy duty foundation during her winter break of sophomore year. Her step-dad really enjoyed bourbon and it showed when he would let his eyes roam over Trixie’s body while she was cooking herself something to eat. At least he had some self-control so the only time he did touch her would be with a closed fist and while wearing his steel toed shoes to make sure that he left his mark. Oh the things that he would say while he threw her around the living room like a rag doll. Trixie still wonders how her mother never found out about what the man did to her, maybe she got off worse. Her mother was the one with a wifely duty to see through. So maybe that’s why Trixie got off easy. During that time was also the time she decided to never let anyone in. She wasn’t going to end up like her mother. She was going to keep her head down when she needed to and use her silver tongue when the situation demanded. She didn’t want to be alone anymore, but that was going to be the only way she was going to keep walking no matter who was in her way.

Trixie started to contemplated actually ending her life during the summer between sophomore and junior year. It all started when her step-dad began to get more hands on with his beatings. He would roughly grab at her body. Twisting and pulling until Trixie made a sound. He had a habit of pressing is sweat slick face against her blonde locks muttering how she was so much prettier than her mother. Something in those moments made Trixie truly afraid. His hits became caresses that made her skin crawl and acid rise at the back of her throat. The moment he would toss her in the general direction of the stairs she would tried her hardest to collect herself and gracefully ascend them. When in the comfort of her own room she was scrambling to find her phone and call the first number that would pop up. Of course whoever she texted knew what she wanted and they readily agreed. So with a quick hand she reapplied her makeup and found the most reveling article of clothing she could find. After grabbing a condom from her dresser and extra money for a cab ride back home she was out the door grateful that her step-dad was passed out. She did anything to wipe the feeling of that man’s hands.

Her mother finally started to care when one night before Trixie’s senior year. She came home from work to see her little girl on the kitchen floor with her favorite pink dress torn and her own husband standing over her just about to undo his belt. Just like a mother lioness she reached out for the closest thing to her (which was a frying pan) and with every ounce of strength she struck him in the back of the head knocking him out the moment the woman made contact. For a moment all you could hear was Trixie sodding on the cold tile floor. Trixie then promised herself that she would never let another person touch her. Her mother rushed to her side wiping at the running mascara on her flushed cheeks. After Trixie was able to steady her breathing and the trembling in her entire body she was told to pack up her thing. When both women packed their most needed belongings into the back of Trixie’s mom’s small car, Trixie came to respect her mother again. She had her mother and her makeup, and that was all Trixie needed.

Until she met Katya, the dirty blonde blue eyed girl, on the first day of senior year at her new school. The girl didn’t talk much, or at all as a matter of fact. Trixie was assigned the seat right in front of her, three rows in front of the girls who already seemed to hate her. She was okay with that; she could give two shits about what stranger thought of her. Katya was a Russian who came to that school her freshmen year. It was nice to bat her lashes at the more important boys of the school. It was easier to figure out who was who in that place. With her only wish finally granted she was forced to face the very demons she had been able to fight back at her home town. That bone numbing loneliness was back again with full force making her feel things that were her destruction back home. Oh how she itched to be swept away in the heat of sex and actually matter for a reason. But she promised herself that she wouldn’t do that.

She began to live again when she couldn’t find her pencil pouch in her large white Barbie bag. It was two weeks into the school year and she was already starting to lose things. She turned around in her desk to face Katya for the first time. Blue eyes met and Trixie could have sworn the world stopped. Her heart began to race and the all too familiar feeling of fear swelling up within her breast made her face contort into a small smile. Maybe if she hid the fact that she was beyond scared then she would actually start to believe it. When she noticed the Russian’s wide eyed stare and the faint blush that dusted her cheeks Trixie had to bite back a whimper. She needed to make sure that she didn’t become too invested. She was meant to be always alone. Just like her mother said, she wasn’t born under the star with the chance of being loved. Yet there was something in Katya’s silence that made that idea begin to disappear, something in her began to chance and the sound of all those snickering boys and girls from her younger years began to fade away.

Trixie at that moment was addicted to the feeling. Katya was the only thing that made everything fall away. Katya was the thing that Trixie was desperate to finally have. She was tired of being alone and she was finally doing something about it. Trixie was okay with the fact that the other girl never spoke in class or anywhere else. She was drawn to the blonde because Trixie knew that just like her Katya didn’t fit in. Her name was the Russian Bitch after all, but Trixie was right beside her with that little Barbie whore. How funny to think that the people who came up with those name didn’t know a thing about them. The moment their French teacher had declared that the class needed to work in pairs, Trixie didn’t hesitate to turn around and smile at Katya. With a small nod she and the Russian were bound. Trixie let her eyes linger a bit too long on Katya so she wasn’t shocked to see the other pull out a water bottle filled with something that was clearly not water. Trixie didn’t mind though; everyone had secrets.

Trixie never understood why Katya let her be as close as she was. She knew that she was a sore thumb at their school so with a simple look the top student could have rid herself of a Barbie wannabe fantasy. Trixie told herself that if it came to that she wouldn’t care but that was the biggest lie she’s ever told herself. She would be destroyed if she were to be pushed away. She had never met someone like Katya and she never had someone actually want her around. Trixie was finally feeling something in her belly that wasn’t crippling isolation. When she found Katya behind the school, under the bleachers, reading a book with a cigarette between her cherry red lips, Trixie wasn’t even fazed by the fact that Katya didn’t even look up. Trixie ducked herself under the bleachers and made herself comfortable right beside Katya. She pulled out her laptop to do whatever came her mind. Something was telling her that the moment Katya finished her little stick of poison that their moment would be over. The older girl would get up and just start walking home. So Trixie wasn’t going to lie about the fact that she could have wept when she saw Katya put out her cigarette only to get another and pass it to her with a lighter to boot. Trixie looked up and smiled as she reached out for the offered drug.

Something in Trixie didn’t want the day to end. Because if it ended that would mean that Trixie would be alone again. That would mean that she would have to go back home to an empty room and an empty bed. So that night Trixie followed Katya back to her place like a lost puppy. Katya didn’t say anything, like she usually does, so Trixie didn’t feel unwanted. The moment they were at Katya’s front door Trixie could feel her heart start to prepare it’s self for the rough night ahead, but when the door stayed open even after Katya had stepped over the threshold Trixie didn’t feel alone. The moment they were in Katya’s room a bottle of vodka was produce from God knows where. The drink was passed between the two of them. Pink and red mixing on the mouth bottle. Katya let her music blare in the room so that it could hide Trixie’s giggles. Her entire body began to sway back and forth. Just like her being, her mouth was just as loose. She began to talk about anything and everything filling that silence that is usually always between them. She thought back to the girls that sat three rows behind her, two behind Katya. That only lasted a moment because then she started talking about how stunning Katya’s eyes were and how they reminded her of a clear blue sea. She went on and on about the carpet because how soft it was and then the sun because of how bright it could be.

Then suddenly she found herself wrapped up in surprisingly strong arms. Katya looked at her smiling and then laughing. Something in her laugh made Trixie’s heart stop and her blood run hot. Right after Trixie heard Katya’s voice for the first time. It was the most beautiful sound in the world, the words that came with such a sweet voice was the end of Trixie. She reached out to cup both sides of the girls face to pull her forward. Their lips met in a promise as they fell onto Katya’s mattress. With Russian music masking the noises Trixie couldn’t hold back, the heated kisses they shared, and how tears were burning Trixie’s eyes. Her toes curled and her back arched when Katya said her name in just the right way.

Trixie tried to tell herself that she would never be loved,but with her makeup a mess and red lipstick covering almost her entire body, she woke up in the middle of the night with Katya’s strong arms embracing her so tightly, she couldn’t help but smile and know deep down, that she was finally loved by a blonde Russian that sat behind her in French.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to tell me what you thought!


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